


it's already over

by Nife



Series: Darker Days (Hard Verse) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura mentioned, Gen, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, and really mean, but this is lance being angry, coran is in the background, he's deflecting, i do not personally believe the same, not nicely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nife/pseuds/Nife
Summary: An offshoot for Shangst week of the hard verse. Lance is a bastard in this, he's angry and not quiet about it.This is all based off a rp the bosstoaster and I did, which is based off a prompt that she posted like…a year+ ago?Basically, it all comes back to, what would happen if the paladins (and specifically Lance and Shiro) would do if the earth died? How would they react?





	it's already over

“Lance! _Focus!_ ” Shiro shouted, frustration bleeding through his tone as he watched the younger man fail again to make an easy shot. It cost the team Pidge as the floor opened and swallowed her up. Coran made noise in the background, some inane commentary that Shiro could honestly care less about usually, even less so now.  
  
“I _AM_ focusing!” Lance barked back, teeth flashing, and while loathe to admit it, was a habit he’d picked up from Shiro.  
  
Shiro studied the younger man, noting the exhaustion in his posture, the sweat dripping down his face. “End training sequence,” Shiro sighed, and the drones as a whole went back into their ports.  
  
Apparently, Shiro wasn’t the only one who noticed Lance lagging, Keith turned to him snapping, “What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not take this seriously? You realise that if you screw up on the field like you just did we could _die_ right?!”  
  
“Fuck you mullet,” Lance fired right back, tone venomous but words less than impressive.  
  
“Lance…are you okay?” Hunk asked, a cautious concern in his voice. He didn’t approach, however, likely still reeling from the last explosion of the other young man’s temper.  
  
“I’m fine,” Lance replied quickly, voice barely above the same peevish tone he’d used on Keith. “Is this training over? I want to shower.”  
  
Shiro looked over his crew, eyes darting to Pidge as she reentered the training deck, rubbing her back and scowling. “Yeah it is, but I need you to hang back.”  
  
Lance threw his hands up, face twisting between outrage and disbelief. “Why the _fuck_ do I have to stay behind _again_ for your crap-tacular training? Need someone to slap your dick on? Try Keith, he’s up for your bullshit.”  
  
“First off-” Keith started, his eyes flashing dangerously, posture positively charged and ready to fight, “make that fucking assumption again and I will _cut pieces of you off._ ”  
  
“I’d like to see you try, you little bitch.” Lance challenged, bayard returning to it’s gun form.  
  
“ _ENOUGH!!_ ” Shiro shouted, marching up to Lance and pushing his gun down with his galra arm, glaring at him till the smaller man reverted it to a bayard with a scoff. Threat safely disarmed Shiro shot a look to Keith, half pleading for him to just let it go. “Hit the showers, the rest of you.”  
  
Keith met his gaze easily, worry for Shiro, dancing in his eyes. With a sigh Shiro nodded, he’d be alright, he could handle Lance. For all his anger the younger man utterly _lacked_ Shiro’s fighting prowess.  
  
Seeming to accept that, however reluctantly, Keith left with Pidge, who had just thrown her hands up, turned around and walked right back out. Hunk hesitated, clearly wanting to be there for his friend but also lacking the courage to try to directly challenge Shiro’s order. He sighed heavily and left after the others.  
  
“So, fearless leader, gonna try to claim I’m a failure to this team and how I bring everyone down because of focusing issues? Oh wait, it’s not Tuesday, that’s the wrong speech. Is it Thursday, or Friday? I can’t remember. Ah well, I’m sure you’ve got something right _motivational_ to throw up all over me and then act like I’m an ungrateful brat for not immediately swallowing down.” Lance sneered, eyes crinkling darkly.  
  
Shiro _almost_ fell for it, almost allowed his anger to override his good sense and berate Lance for his disrespectful tone, words and general attitude. But, the bags under Lance’s eyes were nearly purple, so dark and bruised from- honestly he didn’t know. Lance _slept_ , Shiro had made sure of it, had even entered his room and checked. Lance wasn’t a good actor, he couldn’t fake the heaviness of a deep sleep.  
  
So what was making the young man this bone tired? The obvious answer, still reeling from Earth, from the loss of his family and everything he’d known and being unfairly thrust into a war that none of them should have to be fighting.  
  
But, that was just a theory. Lance wasn’t over it, wouldn’t likely ever be (none of them would) “What’s going on?” He asked instead, taking a step back and consciously trying to keep his posture calm.  
  
“Uh, I’m exhausted?” Lance answered, scowling at the floor. Good, looks like he was running out of steam, wouldn’t blow up, likely. “It happens when you fight a war there’s no hope of winning against a ten thousand-year-old empire with fucking useless-” Lance stopped rambling, having already gotten confined to his quarters for angrily shouting at Allura about Alteans and his thoughts on them. “Fuck, you don’t care. Just fucking throw me around and against the ground enough times and I’ll be a ‘good boy’ for you till my brain stops rattling.”  
  
“That’s not the point of these exercises, or the extra training I give you,” Shiro barely held from growling. “I see…points that need to be strengthened and I work with you.”  
  
“That was a nice way of putting; ‘you’re a fucking failure but I don’t want to cost the team it’s good members’,” Lance replied flatly, glaring at Shiro. “Let’s not lie to one another.”  
  
“It’s not-” Shiro stopped, Lance was trying to dig under his skin again, to make Shiro blow up, give up, and to avoid talking about whatever was going on. “Lance, you look like you haven’t slept or eaten in days when I know for a fact that you eat like you’re starving and you sleep like the dead. There’s something else going on and we need to talk about it.”  
  
“Why? There’s nothing going on,” Lance dismissed, crossing his arms and holding himself tightly. He probably would have jabbed his hands into his pockets if he’d had them. “Fuck, just leave me alone.”  
  
“How about we talk about this instead?” Shiro’s tone left it less a suggestion and more a direct order. “Let’s go to my quarters and …talk. We need to help you with this problem.”  
  
“Right, whatever,” Lance agreed, letting himself be led. His entire posture screamed defiance, but it only lasted a moment. He was wearing out so rapidly that it was…actually really alarming and, briefly, Shiro considered heading to the pod room instead. But that would only lead to more arguing as Lance seemed to hate those things with a burning passion, having already been in them twice on less than desirable circumstances.  
  
They easily made it to the paladin rooms, Shiro unlocking his door and gesturing for the smaller man to go in first. Lance just scowled and marched past, standing as rigidly as he could in the corner of his room.  
  
“So,” Shiro said, trying to not let his agitation soar again and blind him to the issue at hand. “Let’s talk, why are you…dragging? What’s up? Is this from…” He stopped himself from mentioning Earth, the last thing he needed was Lance to blow up or even worse, crash like he had last time (trip two into the pods.)  
  
“I already told you, I’m exhausted,” Lance growled, only turning his eyes up to scowl at Shiro.  
  
“Yes but not like this,” it was a statement, less a question. “Lance, I’m…concerned. It’s been- you’ve been like this for a while.”  
  
Just finish the statement Lance was on him, in less than two strides. “You don’t even care! It’s all about having an ass to fill a seat! You can stop pretending that you’re ‘good leader’ when the only thing you care about is your duty and stupid sense of pride!”  
  
Wasn’t the first time Lance had spat out accusations and fury like that at Shiro, the first time he’d been physical though. The younger man didn’t move otherwise, no attempts to attack and Shiro could _physically_ see why. He was fading, even as he raged his pupils dilated and his legs shook to hold himself up. The burst of energy his fury might have given him used up quickly, leaving Lance looking even hollower than before.  
  
Pushing aside his shock, Shiro caught him before he fell, managing to wrangle him to lay on the bed. This was not good, Lance was shaking like it took everything he had to keep breathing. “I’m going to remove your armour so you can breath easier,” he explained. Quickly he followed through, not stopping until Lance was just in his undersuit. “Is that better? Easier? Talk to me.” He brought up the comms, intending to call Allura when a hand loosely gripped his wrist.  
  
“She…c-can't help me,” Lance said, voice only marginally steadier even as his tone took on a near pleading tone. “They’ll just…put me in the stupid pods again, it won’t help.”  
  
“Lance, you can’t be left like this!” Shiro protested, trying to gently disentangle Lance’s hand. “You’re sick, or something. I can’t, I worked too hard to keep you alive just for you to die because you’re afraid of the pods!”  
  
“It isn’t something the pods can help!” Lance shouted, or tried to, fading out a bit as his fury flashed, only leaving him more exhausted. “All they do is put me to sleep physically…then I dream about Earth and…I hate it. I can’t go back Shiro, I won’t.”  
  
“So you’ll die instead?!” Shiro asked, angry at Lance’s stubborn refusal. The reason was legitimate but the alternative of just watching him fade- No, he wouldn’t allow it. _He couldn’t._  
  
“They won’t help!” Lance tried again, pleading, his eyes wide as desperate fear replaced anger. “I know you don’t care but it’s like a torture chamber! I-I’ll be better! Just don’t put me back!”  
  
As tears slowly started to well around Lance’s eyes, and Shiro deflated, his frustration pushed back by concern. He didn’t know if the pods really did or did not help but- he couldn’t do that to Lance, or anyone. He couldn’t knowingly harm someone like that.  
  
“How do I help you?” Shiro asked, wiping away the tears absently with his thumb. “You’re burning out at an alarming rate, you can’t… you’re hurting and I can’t allow that.” He wanted to fight Lance’s accusations of ‘not caring’, but he couldn’t afford to try to defend himself and have Lance clam right back up. The younger man’s life was more important than Shiro’s hurt feelings.  
  
“I don’t know…I don’t know what’s wrong…I’m just tired all the time now,” Lance admitted, exhaustion making him more honest, nothing left for anger. “Especially…after we form Voltron.”  
  
“How long has this been…like that?” Shiro asked, hoping the streak of honesty wouldn’t be upset by too much probing.  
  
“I don’t know, a while? After we found out the Earth-” Lance stopped, hiccuping and the tears from a moment before came back with a fury, rolling down his cheeks.  
  
Phrases like ‘it’s okay to hurt from that’ and ‘you’re not at fault for that loss’ edged around Shiro’s mind but were quickly dropped. He took a moment to try to think of what to do next instead and chose to cradle Lance in his arms a moment, rocking him back and forth. Lance didn’t protest, just let the tears flow.  
  
Gently Shiro kissed his brow, getting a short startle from the smaller man. Lance blinked up at him, a confused look furrowing his brow. “Why?” he asked softly.  
  
“I-” Shiro nearly felt panicked, it hadn’t meant to be anything, he’d just acted on instinct and- “You…looked like you needed it?” he finished lamely and flinched at himself, wary of evoking another flash of anger.  
  
“Oh,” Lance replied simply, not even a hint of his previous rage. “Felt good.”  
  
“I…are you okay with that?” Shiro asked, honestly baffled considering how little Lance seemed to want to be near him, especially with such an intimate touch.  
  
“Kisses…generally feel good? That kiss…felt really good? I don’t…know? It just felt warm.” Lance stumbled over his words, like trying to process it himself. “I liked it.” And Shiro literally saw the effects, Lance’s face relaxed a bit and he seemed to regain some colour.  
  
Huh, that was not what Shiro expected to see. “Do you …want another?” Was this helping? Kissing him? How did- Shiro stopped his rambling mind. This wasn’t the time to look a gift horse in the mouth if it helped, it helped.  
  
“Do you …mind kissing me?” Lance asked back, blinking up at him in confusion. “We’re…not exactly amicable to one another.”  
  
“I…don’t mind it? I just want you to feel better?” Shiro answered because he did and for whatever reason, a kiss on the brow seemed to help? Fuck, he didn’t know or understand why. All he knew was his very ill teammate seemed to come back from a near deathly parlour with a kiss (like a fairytale, and wasn’t that a strange thought considering everything else.)  
  
“That’s so weird,” Lance answered softly, instead of spitting more hate or confusion or about a thousand other things Shiro expected. “Yeah, you can kiss me. If feels good.”  
  
So, Shiro did, keeping his mind from questioning it too loudly and startling himself out of it. If he had a chance he…okay, there was no way in hell he would be able to ask either Allura or Coran why his kisses seemed to help Lance. Maybe he could research it? In Altean which he didn’t know even the basics of.  
  
At least Lance seemed to have calmed down, humming lightly as Shiro peppered his face with light caresses on his brow and cheek. Eventually, he seemed to fall into a daze, eyes heavily lidded but looking less bruised? This was so strange, but sure how about magic kisses existing.  
  
This was probably going to be something he regretted later when sense returned to the smaller man, but Shiro asked, “do you…want to rest here?”  
  
“Yeah,” Lance replied, and an honest to god smile crossed his lips, softly turning his lips up.  
  
Shiro had forgotten that the young man was capable of making that expression, _he also forgot how to breathe for a second._ “Okay…uhm, do you want to try to get into pyjamas?” Shiro tried not to squeak because he was not a teenaged boy gushing that his crush had just said they liked him too.  
  
“I’ve got an undershirt and pants on,” Lance replied, already drifting. “‘Can just take off the spacesuit.”  
  
“Right, I’ll just-” Shiro shook himself. Not the time, he’d help Lance and just lay here in silence and try not to be even more awkward. He undid the outfit, sliding it off Lance’s body before folding it and putting all of the already removed armour properly piled. Then he did the same for himself and sat on the bed, watching Lance sleep and pondering if any of this was the reality. It was, Lance _hated_ him and it was-  
  
Shiro had to shake himself again. None of that mattered right now. He’d deal with whatever fallout tomorrow. Today, he needed to rest and hope that whatever they stumbled upon wasn’t a fluke that would fail tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that I got a bang piece out of the way I'm thinking of doing a 5 times for the hard verse, mostly when I'm pissed and need to vent. Because psychologists are expensive! (lol)


End file.
